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Both genders want the other genders to be less like the animals that they actually are. This is completely true, but in completely different ways for each gender.
Men want women to look less like the animals that they really are.
Men can say they like a more natural look, and most really do believe it's true. But it's not. If a guy is comparing the looks of a naturally pretty woman with no makeup and pajamas, and an average looking woman with contouring and push-up bra, option B is pretty much always going to win, all other things being equal.
Men love to pretend they love a natural look, until they see a woman with armpit hair and vomit all over her face.
We don't want that. We don't want your makeup done, your body looking as flattered as humanly possible, and not a single hair on your body outside of the top and back of your head (which should of course be well put together). I've met men before who I think might not understand that women actually grow body hair.
For women, it's pretty obvious how they generally want men to be. They want them to not be constantly distracted by every woman that walks by. They want us to pay more attention to them how they naturally are, and to not care quite so much about their boobs--all boobs, really. They want us to not stare for minutes on end, or catcall them, or grope them at random times. They want us to be less like the easily distracted, constantly jerking off monkeys that we really are.
And that pretty much all makes sense. Nobody wants anybody to be like that. Us men don't want to be like that. This is of course tricky because well, we are. No one catcalls a woman because they logically think that has ever worked or because they're proud of themselves for doing it. They do it because it's what is in their heart at that moment.
We are gross animals that have a deep burning desire to stare at every square inch of cleavage we can find, and yell horrifying, inappropriate things, and make unwelcome sexual advances.
Most of us are pretty good at hiding this. There are the ones that are terrible at it, that inevitably end up getting fired, or going to jail, or being elected to a high office at some point in their lives, but most are pretty good at controlling the devil monkey on our shoulder telling us to do unmentionable things to some poor women we don't even know.
The problem, of course, is that doing this is largely dishonest. If a guy comes up to you in a bar, and talks to you with respect, and appears to be listening to what you're saying, that's all well and good. But the more honest thought would be him coming up to you, and saying, "Hi, I'd like to blow a load on your tits later. Can I buy you a drink now to increase that possibility?"
And so what women kind of want is a courtship based in dishonesty. And they should, because the alternative is one based in harassment.
But it makes you wonder. Why do they do this? Why do they compete to have men hold themselves back from harassing them? Why would they want this while they also don't (and shouldn't)?
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE: Do we make this about men being gross animals, and how to be less like that? Also I think we need more evidence of men not liking a natural look.
Probably good to start with notion of why the world would be better if we could get past all of this, and then move onto how.
Ideas for how:
Fight your nature
What respect really means
Honestly, jerk off a lot?
Repeat the truth until you are used to it.
And one thing for women to do: Stop defining yourself this way.
